stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn’t know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn’t know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day
guess what post just got read aloud in poetry club tonite by an unknowing club member as I watched on in terror
stop listening to music and start listening to the sounds of nature. the āeagles?āThe ārolling stones?ā The ābeetles?ā Come into the beautiful forest with me and you will find all of those things friendā¦. I promiseā¦.If you just believe<3
In the beautiful forest you will also encounter the āmountain goatsā and ācornā and āmonkeysā and the ākillersā and the-what do you mean what was that last one? Nothing haha donāt worry about itā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ <3
The notes on this post are just filled to the brim with the society-killing US chest-thumping of āHOW DARE YOU ASK SOMETHING OF ME IN MY OWN HOUSE???????ā and just likeā¦ you guys do understand this is why you had Trump, right? Because all of you feel this way about each other?
Like, you are all aware that this is exactly exactly exactly how right wing people feel about being asked to use pronouns? āYou want me to change MY behavior just to benefit YOU? FUCK YOU. I WOULD RATHER CALL YOU THE WRONG NAME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE THAN BEND TO YOUR WILL.ā But hey. Lawnmower go brrrr, right? Based? The person asking for courtesy was the one being rude?
On reddit, I would expect this, but Iām surprised to see it on tumblr because likeā¦ this is the queer website? We care about each other here? Sometimes I feel like some of you are only right by coincidence and not by conviction or principle.
Maybe itās because Iām from a third-world country, but in my eyes lawnmower man is such a gigantic cunt I cannot even believe my eyes reading this story. Part of being in a community, even a tiny, ad hoc one like a neighborhood is recognising that there are parts of our spaces that overlap, and we give and take from those spaces in equal measure. In my neighborhood, that means my neighbors are allowed to stay up until 3 AM partying if they want. You wonāt hear a peep from me unless youāre doing it every night. I party too, and we both understand each other. It means my neighborās kids can play the drums and ride their very loud motorcycle outside. I have my own loud hobbies, and we all respect each other. And if you leave a note on my door asking me to be quiet while you have your WEDDING? Of course man, no problem! I hope itās a sunny day and the ceremony is beautiful! I know that if I ever need anything, you will help me out as well.
I mean come on, people. Are you seriously searing over one afternoon of your life? That is such a reasonable request. You were probably being quiet anyway! Stop trying to be the main character and build connections with the people around you. Being nice costs nothing and will only bring you gains. How else do you expect people to be respectful and kind to you, if not in return?
“Imagine having a child that refuses to hug you or even look you in the eyes”
Imagine being shamed, as a child, for not showing affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being forced, as a child, to show affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being told, as a child, that your ways of expressing affection weren’t good enough. Imagine being taught, as a child, to associate physical affection with pain and coercion.
As a preschool special ed para, this is very important to me. All my kids have their own ways of showing affection that are just as meaningful to them as a hug or eye contact is to you or me.
One gently squeezes my hand between both of his palms as he says “squish.” I reciprocate. When he looks like he’s feeling sad or lost, I ask if I can squish him, and he will show me where I can squish him. Sometimes it’s almost like a hug, but most of the time, it’s just a hand or an arm I press between my palms. Then he squishes my hand in return, says “squish,” and moves on. He will come ask for squishes now, when he recognizes that he needs them.
Another boy smiles and sticks his chin out at me, and if he’s really excited, he’ll lean his whole body toward me. The first time he finally won a game at circle time, he got so excited he even ran over and bumped chins with me. He now does it when he sees me outside of school too. I stick out my chin to acknowledge him, and he grins and runs over and I lean down for a chin bump.
Yet another child swings my hand really fast. At a time when another child would be seeking a hug, she stands beside me and holds my hand, and swings it back and forth, with a smile if I’m lucky. The look on her face when I initiate the hand swinging is priceless.
Another one bumps his hip against mine when he walks by in the hallway or on the playground, or when he gets up after I’m done working with him. No eye contact, no words, but he goes out of his way to “crash” into me, and I tell him that it’s good to see him. He now loves to crash into me when I’m least expecting it. He doesn’t want anything, really. Just a bump to say “Hi, I appreciate you’re here.” And when he’s upset and we have to take a break, I’ll bump him, ask if he needs to take a walk, and we just go wander for a bit and discuss whatever’s wrong, and he’s practically glued to my side. Then one more bump before we go back into the room to face the problem.
Moral of the story is, alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as traditional affection. Reciprocating alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as returning a hug. That is how you build connections with these children.
This is so goddamn important.
I verbally express affection. A LOT.
My husband… doesn’t. I don’t know why. For the longest time part of me wondered if it meant he loved me less.
At some point I told him about a thing I had done as a kid. Holding hands, three squeezes means ‘I Love You’.
Suddenly he’s telling me I Love You all the time.
Holding my hand, obviously, but also randomly.
taptaptap
on my hand, my shoulder, my butt, my knee, whatever body part is closest to him, with whatever part of him is closest to me
All the time.
More often than I ever verbally said it.
It’s an ingrained signal now, I can tap three times on whatever part of him, and get three taps back in his sleep. Apparently I do the same.
It’s made a huge difference for us.
People say things differently.
This is so sweet and wonderful. There are so many valid ways to show love and affection.
